Halloween Hack
by Pieisgood
Summary: No swearing, just a little violence. Halloween stories about .Hack!
1. The Aromatic Grass Maze

.Hack HALLOWEEN Chapter 1- Maze  
  
"One day, a guy went on an adventure. He fought, he died. The end," Bear told a stupid story.  
"T-that s-s-sucked," Kite said, shaking in fear.  
"You got scared!" Bear laughed.  
" I'm too good to be scared!" Kite boasted.  
"Snot- hair!"  
"Face-painter!"  
"Bracelet wearin' freak!"  
"Sh..."  
"Break it up!" Mimiru yelled.  
Tsukasa ran into a nearby Aromatic grass maze.  
"Where's Elk?" Mia asked.  
"Yaaaaaaaaaaah!" Elk screamed as he was launched from the catapault. THUMP! He hit a scarecrow.  
"Shouldn't have asked," Kite said.  
Kite, Mia, Beer (Bear), Mimiru, and BlackRose ran into the Aromatic grass maze. Everyone followed Kite deeper.  
"Where did Tsukasa go?" Mimiru asked.  
"Don't askeded me," a stupified Bear said.  
"Hark!" The evil voice rang throughout the desolate maze. A tall, stupid person walked up to the group. It was someone they would rather not see...  
"He of fair eyes, do you want to go on an adventure?" Piros asked running ahead. The group saw a split path. They went left.  
"AAAAAHHHHHH!" A flying Elk (.Hack character) screamed. He landed on the hard dirt. "Arromatic.. grass..."  
Kite got a bag and put Elk in it. They dragged him around, looking for Tsukasa.  
"AAAAAAhhhhhh!" Bear screamed.  
Lying on the cold, hard, dirt was Piros' lifeless body. He was neither breathing, nor moving. There was a rustling in the Aromatic Grass. Sora jumped out, wielding a bloody knife. He koed Bear first, then Mia. Next he got Kite, and finally BlackRose. He had forgot about Mimiru. Sora crossed his bug-eyes.  
Sora's blades struck Mimiru's sword. His eyes were going crazy. Sora started getting more insane. He knocked Mimiru's sword into the grass. He swung his blades, but was fried to a crisp before he could kill. Tsukasa swung his staff and froze Sora. He woke everyone up with water, and they left the maze.  
TOto BEbe CONconTINtinUEDued  
  
The next time on .Hack hallowEen Nobody is safe anymore...  
  
PiRoS hAuNtInG  
  
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Sora: Kite, I am your father!  
  
Kite: Nooooo... Wait, you're too young. Sora, I am your father!  
  
This cliche brought to you by... THE DISCLAIMER  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own .Hack//SIGN or .Hack//INFECTION, or Star Wars.  
  
Sora: And they all died unhappily ever after!  
  
Kite: I just love a sad ending Read Eat View Ingest Examine Walk away! R-E- V-I-E-W! 


	2. Piros Haunting

.Hack Halloween Part 2- PiRoS HaUnTiNg  
  
Disclaimer: I do not, I repeat, do not own .Hack//SIGN or .Hack video games. But I do own...  
  
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Kite, BlackRose, and Balmung were going on a vacation to: Delta- Cursed Despaired Sea of Sand. When they got there, Balmung found an oasis.  
"Chuuuuuuuu!" A noise was heard from the dungeon.  
"What was that?" BlackRose asked.  
"Probaly a Pikachu," Kite replied.  
"They don't exist," Balmung replied.  
Meanwhile, in the gay (Happy) Pokemon world... Ash: Man, I hate being a Pokeman character. I wanna be a .Hack character! Brock: They don't exist!  
Back to .Hack  
"I'll go check!" Kite said, walking into the dungeon.  
"Bet you 2000 gold he dies!" Balmung betted.  
"I'll see your bet and raise to 10,000 gold!" BlackRose replied.  
"Aaaaaaaaah!" Kite's scream echoed throughout the desert field. He came running out, holding a cake.  
" I wanna have some peace," Balmung said.  
"Was that a pun or were you serious?" BlackRose asked.  
"It was a good pun, and you better like it," An angry Balmung said, wielding a guitar.  
"It's coming!" Kite yelled.  
Balmung looked in the oasis. It was filled with blood. Piros' head floated up.  
"Help me!" Piros' head whispered.  
"Mommmmyyyyyy!" Balmung screamed.  
Everyone started running-into the dungeon. Blood was everywhere. Kite screamed and jumped into Balmung's arms. Balmung dropped him on the bloody ground. *___________________________* We interrupt the scheduled program to make an announcement. If you want to quit reading, DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do own a temper! I do not own Poke'mon either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now back to our scheduled program. *___________________________________*  
  
Mistral came running up.  
"Hi!" She said in a squeaky voice. BlackRose punched her lights out.  
"Don't go to the light Piros," Mistral had connected with the dead in her sleep. A hole to the spirit world appeared. Kite jumped in.  
"Remember, don't go to the light!" Mistral squeaked.  
Kite saw Piros. He was shouting "Hark!" repeatedly. Kite pulled out a guitar, and hit Piros with it. He went flying out of the portal. Kite hit himself with the guitar, and flew out of the portal, just as it closed.  
Piros was laying on the ground like this *^*. Suddenly, a noise was heard. Piros started to stumble around. A huge robot came out of his forehead. He flew back, and hit the wall. Kite grabbed his guitar, and swung. SPROING! The guitar hit the robot.  
"You look like my brother..." Piros mumbled.  
"You could pass for my sister!" Kite replied.  
"Let's argue back at Mac Anu," BlackRose suggested.  
They gated out to Mac Anu.  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ I do not own FLCL either, if you even know what it is. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
Kite: I like sad endings.  
  
Sora: It was sad that Piros had to come back...  
  
SPROING!  
  
Please review! 


	3. Year of the Guitar: When Hack goes to FL...

Chapter 3- Christmas Present  
  
WARNING: This chapter contains high insanity. If you do not like FLCL do not read this chapter. You have been warned.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own .Hack, FLCL, or Barney the Dinosaur.  
  
This is an early christmas present if you requested more FLCL. (Abbreviation rocks)  
  
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In Carmina Gadelica, Balmung sat on a bench playing his guitar. He played some Beatles and Led Zeppelin songs. Then he played some Japanese song nobody understood.  
"Ride on shooting star!" Balmung sung.  
Suddenly, the strings broke. Piros came walking up and got sucked into the guitar. The others were pulled in too.  
Kite woke up. He was on... a huge anvil. Piros and BlackRose woke up on a road by a sour pop machine. Balmung woke up on a bridge. Tsukasa and Mimiru woke up under the bridge. Tsukasa rolled over and hit something.  
Kite walked to the edge of the anvil. He fell and landed on his butt.  
"Ow, my lambago." He muttered.  
"Aaaaaaaah!" Tsukasa screamed. A Barney doll lay on the ground beside him. Mimiru chopped it up with her sword. Meanwhile, Piros was being stupid. He was sniffing a street lamp. VVVVVVvvvvvvvvvvvvvvrrrrrooooom! A yellow motor bike with a P! on it approached.  
SMACK! It struck Piros with the force of 1,000 flipping towels. He went spinning through the air. He landed on the ground with a thud. The girl riding the scooter hit him with a guitar. He twitched and sat up.  
"Ow, my achingeth headeth." Piros slurred.  
"Who is that?" BlackRose asked. Piros twitched again. "Quit twitching!" Piros twitched.  
"Whoeth areth youeth?eth" Piros asked. The girl struck Piros with the guitar again. BlackRose saw the name Haruko on the guitar. Suddenly, the scene changed to manga. BlackRose was upset that all of the pretty happy colors were now black and white. The scene changed back to anime.  
Balmung started walking. He read the Japanese signs. He crashed into a boy with a voice that sounded like Tsukasa.  
"Eat guitar!" They both said pulling out a guitar. The guitars hit together. Balmung's guitar shattered.  
"Who are you?" Balmung asked.  
"I'm Naota." The boy replied.  
Tsukasa and Mimiru were lost, wondering aimlessly through the city.  
"I heard Kite!" Tsukasa exclaimed.  
"I didn't know you could exclaim," Mimiru said.  
They ran towards the giant anvil.  
Meanwhile, Piros and BlackRose were running from Haruko and that scooter. They hit a dead end. The scooter came closer by the second. Suddenly, Naota and Balmung walked by. The scene changed to manga.  
"What is she doing here?" Naota yelled.  
An argument insued.  
"Who is this crazy person?" Balmung asked.  
" I don't know." Piros slurred.  
"What's wrong with him?"  
"You don't wanna know." BlackRose replied.  
"Fooly Cooly!" Piros yelled.  
VvVvVvVvVvVvVvVvVvVvVvVvVv...... Steam came out of the anvil. Piros began to stumble.  
"Not again." The FLCL characters said.  
A lump appeared on Piros' head. A robot came out of his forehead. It was red and had a TV on its head.  
"Atomisk?" Haruko said.  
Balmung got a guitar out. He jumped in the fray. Atomisk pulled out a guitar and hit BlackRose. Balmung pulled a string on his guitar, and it sounded like a chainsaw. He jumped up in the air, in slow motion. He swung the guitar and struck Atomisk in the back of the head. The force sucked Balmung, Piros, and BlackRose back to "The World."  
Meanwhile......  
Kite, Mimiru, and Tsukasa sat in front of a bread shop. They heard: "Fooly Cooly!" coming from inside.  
"I wanna go home!!!" Kite yelled.  
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Was it good? Re\/iew! Don't ask what's going to happen to Kite, Mimiru, and Tsukasa. You'll find out next chapter. 


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